When NASA encounters a problem, they don’t task one engineer to resolve it. They assign the problem to a team of engineers. Google, Apple, Meta and nearly every other industry leader take the same approach.
The most daunting problems are always best handled by a team effort—including bullying.
Recently, I was asked to speak to a group of parents and educators about how the art of being a good teammate relates to bullying. Good teammates don’t bully, nor do they tend to be bullied.
If your someone you know is being bullied, one of the best approaches you can take is to encourage them to become a “good teammate.” Relatedly, you should try to help them assemble a team to tackle their problem.
Here are five teammates everyone needs—especially those being bullied:
1. Upstander
An Upstander is someone who refuses to be a bystander. They won’t stand idly by and watch others be bullied. They stand up for the bullied through their words and their actions. Upstanders have moxie, and they aren’t afraid to use it.
Where do you find them? Upstanders are usually peers, siblings, or older acquaintances. Unfortunately, you don’t find them; they find you. But you can get on their radar by being kind, offering compliments, and conveying gratitude. People tend to defend those who make them feel good about themselves.
2. Mentor
A Mentor is someone whose example you want to emulate. They model enviable behaviors and guide you through the uncertainty of how to appropriately respond to difficult situations.
Where do you find them? Mentors are typically teachers, coaches, older siblings, or experienced associates. In dysfunctional environments, where none of the aforementioned are available, you may need to turn to books, television, or movies. Fictional characters can be effective mentors under the right circumstances.
3. Champion
As the name suggests, a Champion is someone who will champion your cause. They’re invested in your problems to the point that your problems become their problems. Champions are essential to those struggling with learning disabilities, body image issues, or any attribute that makes them a target for bullying.
Where do you find them? Champions are typically teachers, coaches, counselors, therapists, or parents. (*I would argue that it’s every parent’s job to be a Champion for their child!) You find them in schools, extracurricular activities, help centers, and, of course, loving homes.
4. Buddy
A buddy is someone who can commiserate with your problems because they’re facing the same challenges. They understand the hurt you’re feeling.
Where do you find them? Buddies must be peers or near peers, otherwise it will be hard for them to truly relate to what you’re experiencing. You find Buddies in extracurricular activities, clubs, and support groups. Ironically, you probably won’t find them by sitting on a Buddy Bench. Unless someone’s already sitting there, plopping down on a Buddy Bench might yield you a Champion or Upstander—but not likely a Buddy.
5. Resonator
A resonator is someone who emits good vibes. Their positivity is contagious and inspires you to want to be a better version of yourself. They possess a cheerful disposition capable of improving your worst mood.
Where do you find them? Resonators are everywhere! Just look for enthusiastic personalities who are perpetually happy, and you’ll find them. By the way, Resonators don’t have to be humans. Pets can be excellent Resonators.
According to a study by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University, 64% of bullied middle schoolers will use drugs before they graduate high school. Tragedies like those in Uvalde, Oxford, and Parkland demonstrate that drug use isn’t the worse bullying outcome.
Helping someone who’s being bullied procure these five teammates could be a contribution of life-altering significance.
As always…Good teammates care. Good teammates share. Good teammates listen. Go be a good teammate.
