Poor facilitation can cause the best intentions to unintentionally yield the worst results. This is especially true when it comes to team dynamics.
My wife and I were at a restaurant Friday where a high school sports team had gathered for their pre-game meal. The gathering was supposed to be a positive, team-bonding experience, enjoyed by all.
But as I observed this team, it became evident to me that their pre-game ritual was doing more harm than good.
The members were scattered around the restaurant in small, disconnected groups. They weren’t sitting together as a team—which was entirely possible with this restaurant’s open layout and available big tables.
There were no interactions between tables. No mingling. No cross socialization. No one left their small group to engage another group.
I saw a handful of members sitting off to the side with their faces buried in their phones. They were isolated and clearly not enjoying themselves. If they had not been wearing the same uniforms as the others, I wouldn’t have even thought they were connected to the team.
Nothing I observed about this gathering merited it being labeled as “team bonding.”
Rather than bringing the team closer together, this pre-game meal was dividing the team, fostering ostracization, and facilitating cliques.
So who’s to blame for this situation?
Certainly, the coaches and team captains own the bulk of responsibility for not better organizing the gathering, but the failure doesn’t lie entirely with them.
At some point, a team member walked into the restaurant and chose to be the first one to not sit with those already there. Regardless of the reason for that choice, it fractured the team and facilitated the first clique. The divide grew from there.
In the same spirit, at some point, a team member chose to watch another member walk into the restaurant and sit elsewhere, without insisting that the other member sit with those already there. That unwelcoming choice, regardless of its reason, equally fractured the team and facilitated the first clique.
Sadly, I’ve seen similar failures play out when poor facilitation did more to strengthen cliques than team bonds at corporate gatherings, staff luncheons, and after-hours socials.
The problem with cliques is that they weaken the team from the inside out. Individuals in the clique are more concerned with maintaining their status within the clique than they are with growing their relationships with team members outside of the clique.
Their reluctancy to expand their sphere of familiarity limits connections on their teams, which limits trust. Connected teams become bonded teams. The more connections there are on teams, the stronger the bonds and the greater the trust.
My wife and I were at another restaurant last night, where a different team had gathered for a pre-game meal. By contrast, the members of this team were all sitting around the same table. Their coaches were sitting with them, asking them questions, joking, and encouraging meaningful conversations.
Instead of facilitating cliques, they were facilitating comradery and strengthening their team’s bonds. Everything I observed about this gathering merited it being labeled as “team bonding.”
Years from now, the members of both teams will forget the scores, records, and statistics. But they will remember how they felt during team-bonding gatherings like pre-game meals. How well those gatherings are facilitated will determine how fondly those experiences are remembered.
Good teammates facilitate good memories, not cliques.
As always…Good teammates care. Good teammates share. Good teammates listen. Go be a good teammate.
