What’s the worst advice you’ve ever received? For me, it’s “Just be yourself.”
If you read on and give it a little thought, I suspect you’ll come to agree this is probably true for you too.
On the surface, “Just be yourself” seems like sound advice. And, in the right context, it can be.
We can cause ourselves incredible stress by trying to fit in and by worrying about what others think of us. Whenever this happens, we need to be reminded that worrying about things we can’t control is wasted energy.
Do your best. Control what you can control. And don’t allow the opinions of others to affect your efforts.
Under this premise, the idea to “Just be yourself” is very applicable.
However, the problem is that we often mistakenly try to apply that advice to circumstances beyond those confines. We start to use “Just be yourself” as an excuse to do whatever comes natural to us. We become unwilling to make concessions to our self-serving behaviors and expect others to accept our selfish actions, without question or consequence.
“just be yourself” quickly becomes “Just do you.”
This can be problematic rationale when you are part of a team.
If you are not instinctively unselfish—and most of us aren’t—then “Just be yourself” is bad advice.
As humans, we are wired to consider our own interests first. We are predisposed to self-preservation and the pursuit of what’s best for me, instead of what’s best for we.
When you are part of a team, you must always consider how your actions impact the other members of your team—and then respond accordingly. If you aren’t naturally a caring, unselfish person, then you shouldn’t be content to just be yourself. You should strive to be better than yourself.
This may require you to step outside of your comfort zone and alter your usual way of thinking. But doing so is precisely the sort of adjustment you need to make to be a better teammate.
It becomes a worthy sacrifice.
One of the best locker room signs I’ve ever seen stated simply: We don’t become you, you become us.
Teams that are continuously successful have this concept woven into the fabric of their culture. These teams aren’t comprised of individuals who chose to “Just be yourself.” They are comprised of teammates who forego their instinctively selfish tendencies for the good of the team.
They don’t arrogantly believe the team should adapt to them. They selflessly conform to meet the needs of the team.
You can always measure how deeply someone cares about their team and their teammates by his or her willingness to pursue what is needed, as opposed to settling for what comes easy—like just being yourself.
As always…Good teammates care. Good teammates share. Good teammates listen. Go be a good teammate.
