Of the many admirable qualities of good teammates, how they handle criticism is among their most impressive. Good teammates have an incredible ability to resist being dismissive or defensive.
Being dismissive means interpreting the criticism as unworthy of your consideration. You reject what is being said with an attitude of superiority. A dismissive response reeks of arrogance and self-righteousness. It’s preposterous to think that could be true of my actions.
Being defensive means interpreting the criticism as unmerited. You blame someone or something else for your missteps. You make excuses. A defensive response reeks of insecurity and deficient self-awareness. It’s not my fault. That’s how I was told to do it. So and so did it the same way.
A lot of people default to one of these two responses when provided with negative feedback. Being dismissive or defensive is instinctive and even understandable—and quite possibly justified.
The critic may be too unfamiliar with the situation or unqualified to be judging your actions. Legitimate reasons for your behavior may exist. Your excuses may be valid.
But none of that matters to good teammates. They refuse to respond to criticism dismissively or defensively because they crave feedback.
Good teammates are committed to becoming the best possible versions of themselves. For that to happen, they need others to help them see their blind spots. Responding dismissively or defensively to criticism will make others reluctant to voice their assessments.
This does not mean that good teammates automatically accept the authority of the critic nor the merits of the critique. It simply means that they have the confidence and humility to listen to feedback.
Good teammates know you learn by listening, not speaking.
Instead of being dismissive or defensive, good teammates digest and discern. They don’t take the criticism personally. They listen intently without interrupting, mull over what was said, and then consider how the information can be applied to their life.
To effectively digest and discern, they must sometimes move beyond what was said and who it was said by and reflect on why it was said. Perhaps the critic has ill-intentions, or perhaps the critic is perceiving your actions in a way that you are unaware.
If the latter is the case, you need to be cognizant of the concept of perception being reality and commit to changing that perception.
The idea of not listening to criticism from someone whom you would not take advice has become trendy in leadership circles. But this can be a dangerous philosophy for team leaders to embrace.
Just as a good leader knows that a valuable idea can come from anyone, a good teammate knows that a valid critique can also come from anyone. Good teammates are wise enough, humble enough, and courageous enough to embrace this premise.
The next time someone criticizes you, politely thank them for sharing their thoughts. Digest what was said. Consider why it was said. And find a way to use the experience to help you become a better teammate.
As always…Good teammates care. Good teammates share. Good teammates listen. Go be a good teammate.
