What is the best advice you’ve ever received? More importantly, what role has that advice played in shaping your life?
I enjoyed seeing the world through Anthony Bourdain’s adventures and was sad to hear that the television star had taken his own life last week. With the recent attention given to his death and several other high-profile suicides, I thought it may be beneficial to share with you what I feel to be the best advice I’ve ever received.
Several decades ago, a man by the name of Clebe McClary came to speak at my high school. He was a retired lieutenant in the United States Marine Corps who had been wounded in battle. Lieutenant McClary had lost his arm and his eye when his battalion was attacked by the Vietcong. But his resolve and his positive approach to life somehow seemed to overshadow those losses.
I don’t know which administrators made the decision to bring him to our school that day, but I’m thankful they did. Lieutenant McClary delivered an inspiring message that I have never forgotten.
Of the many nuggets of wisdom he passed on to us, his advice on what to do if you ever find yourself in a situation where you are thinking about taking your own life resonated with me the most.
In his very distinct southern drawl, Lieutenant McClary said that sometimes life can get you down and make you start to think about giving up. He advised that if you reach a point when you are ready to end your life, make a promise to yourself that you will “run yourself to death.”
He went on to explain that the moment after someone jumps off a bridge, that person inevitably thinks to himself or herself, “You know, I ought not to have done that.” Too late.
The moment after someone pulls a gun’s trigger, that person inevitably thinks to himself or herself, “You know, I ought not to have done that.” Too late.
But if you run yourself to death, you will inevitably get to a place where you are tired. You’ll see a shady tree and you’ll stop to rest. As you sit there, you will start to think more about the situation, and you will realize that someone loves you, someone needs you, and you have other options.
Too often we are quick to label suicide as a selfish act. Maybe it is, but understand the person committing the act doesn’t see it that way. They have rationalized it to be unselfish and to actually be a way of making things better for those they are leaving behind.
One of the more unsettling things I heard during the media coverage devoted to Anthony Bourdain’s death was the statistic that suicide is the third leading cause of death for teenagers.
It is a tragedy any time someone chooses to take his or her own life, but it is especially disconcerting when individuals so young, with so much life ahead of them, make that choice.
The advice that Lieutenant McClary shared with me all those years ago has served me well. It has caused me on several occasions to pause and think, and to ultimately forge ahead when I initially wanted to give up.
If you are in a position to share advice with someone you love, perhaps you will consider passing on Lieutenant McClary’s message. It only takes a second to do so, and it could make all the difference. Your willingness to share the advice will convey the message that you care, and perhaps dispel that person of the misguided belief that his or her suicide would make things better for you.
Good teammates share, and I tried to share advice today that benefited me and may be helpful to someone reading this. Now, it’s your turn.
What is the best advice you’ve ever received?
Take a minute and type your answer in the comments section below.
Who will have the courage to be a good teammate and share? Remember, being a good teammate means having the courage to encourage. What might seem like something trivial to you could prove to be life-altering advice to someone else.
As always…Good teammates care. Good teammates share. Good teammates listen. Go be a good teammate.
My mom would always tell me that there is nothing too big or too small that we can’t handle together and to never feel that me not being here would fix that because she said it would make it worse because she wouldn’t have been given the chance to help. It’s okay if not all problems get solved, and it’s if you try and if you ask for help that matters.
I love it! Thanks for being a good teammate and sharing.
I have a child who has always been a reluctant student. Getting her to do her school work was an exhausting challenge, and it seemed we were “fighting” over school on daily basis. A mentor of mine gave me this advice: “Never allow school work to interfere with the mother – child relationship. Your relationship is far more important than anything else.” I have intentionally followed this advice for the last 10 years, and I am so glad I did. This child, now 17,is still a reluctant student. No amount of forcing on my part was ever going to change that. Eventually, the work always gets done. However; she and I have a very special connection. There are a lot of things worth fighting over and crying about in life; school work is not one of them!
So true!!! “Good teammate move” on your part to follow that advice. Thanks for sharing!
Kinda silly, but when Connie and I were buying her father’s fuel distributing business, he said “A paid up customer never has water in their gas”–In life the ones who yell and complain are “masking ” something!
Good advice! Thanks for sharing!